Have you heard the phrase, “parenting plan” in your conversations with attorneys or counselors? Ever wonder what that means or what your rights are in relation to a parenting plan? In an ideal world parents living in separate households would be able to toss their parenting plan in a drawer, forget about it, and just be able to smoothly co-parent. Unfortunately, that is not often the reality. Circumstances change and parenting plans need to evolve. But you may wonder where to begin.
There are two main instances in which the “forget about it” method does not work: First, when the parents adjust the plan in such a major way that an official court order is needed. An example of this is an ongoing change in the weekly parenting time schedule, such as switching from a 5-2 schedule to an alternating week schedule. Second, when there is regular conflict between the parents about how the plan should be implemented. An example of this would be whether the “right of first refusal” applies when one parent is at work.
Whether you fall into the first or second category, or even if you don’t fall into either category, it is a good idea to review your parenting plan periodically. Reviewing the parenting plan should involve both parents coming together to discuss things like whether or not the points in the plan still apply to them, whether the various parts of the plan are effective for their family, and whether any points are being interpreted differently by each parent. The conversations you need to have as your circumstances change should be held as much as possible without emotions. It’s best to think of it as a business meeting.
How I ask my clients to consider any subsequent meeting to review the parenting plan should be respectful, with both parents having an opportunity to be heard. The parents should listen to each other and seek to understand the other parent’s views. Because, as we all know, parenting can be a stressful and emotional task. As someone who has mediated countless parenting plan meetings, It can be difficult to participate in a review of the parenting plan in this way. Often it is helpful to have a neutral third person present. As a trained mediator and experienced family law attorney, I can help facilitate the parenting plan discussion and aid in problem-solving and ultimately, helping parents come to an agreeable conclusion.
If the circumstances of your family have changed, or if you are more apt to toss your parenting plan in the glove compartment for frequent reference than in a drawer to forget about, consider having a business meeting to review the provisions. Call MEM Law at 513.745.9095 or email me at melanie@memlawyer.com